Hello everyone it is I, Eve! Welcome to my blog!! Here I will talk about random thoughts of mine, and maybe someone will read them? Or, maybe not, I don't care :) If you want an rss or whatever, idk I'm going to beg my long time friend and nerd Intervals to set it up for me because i don't really use rss.

The topic that this first entry is based on is something that has been on my mind lately as a MtF 16 year old nearing on 5 months on HRT. Of course, I still feel like I have a way to go in many areas but I have to say I am very happy with the effects I have gotten so far (Increased confidence, a bit smoother skin, More feminine acne?, lil bit of breast growth, and some slightly noticable fat redistribution).

But, it takes me back to 5 months ago when I first decided to take the red pill and start HRT, I felt like despite the risks of changing my hormones at such a young age, it could only ever be worth it because I couldn't bear the thought of losing anymore of the feminine traits I was desperately clinging onto throughout puberty. Even my (straight) ex-boyfriend once told me there was nothing feminine about me, which stuck to me a bit harder than I was able to admit for a while. I felt desperate to do anything to slow, reverse or pause the male puberty my body was going through, resulting in the awful relationship I had with eating and sleeping. It was all worth it to me because anything would be better than becoming the negative stereotype of an "unpassing trans woman".

This is the reality thousands and thousands of teenage transgender girls go through on a daily basis, most of which without the means to start HRT like I did. This is a reality I think very few cis people or even FtM people understand. These teenagers are in a ticking timebomb of their bodies slowly becoming slightly more unpleasant to live in day by day, with no escape in sight, and they are neglecting their health just to slow the process down. Society, as I'm sure you're aware, does NOT care about this. For example, in the UK, we just had the "cass report", a 300+ page document filled with rigged science and incomplete data, all to lead to the justification of banning puberty blockers and drastically limiting HRT access for under 18s. Shortly after this report, a brat from a well-known newspaper called "The Guardian" started collecting data for a news article against those who are choosing to purchase HRT online, trying to push for restrictions on doing so.

This is exactly why so many young trans women feel so hopeless and depressed, it's this constant cycle of things getting worse and worse, and what does society tell them? "You're too young!", "You'll never be a real woman!", "But you're my son!", et cetera. It really upsets me to see new people enter that hell, even if the truth is, things DO get better and it is NOT the end of the world.

Maybe it's easy for someone "privledged" like myself to say this, but to my fellow transgender teens, things will get better, I promise.